|Like||tellin yr ma your goin for a walk but really yr goin t get the shift|
|Like||A kid walking down the street see's the word "Fucked"|
He goes home and asks his mum what fucked means, She says "It means Getting Dressed dear"
Then he goes outside and someone yells "Shit"
He goes home and asks his mum what shit means, She says "It means Food dear"
Then dad comes home and says:
Dad: "Hey son"
Kid: "Hey dad, the shits on the table and mums upstairs getting fucked"
Like if you get it ;)
|Like||getting naked in the bathroom because you wore a playsuit|
|Like||I smoke a couple hundred a day,|
I waste all my pocket money on 'em,
They're fucking addictive,
I will never quit because...
I LOVE SPIDER-MAN CANDY STICKS!
|Like||hate to break it to you... but i only like you because of that FINE ass you have...|
|Like||The awkward moment when half the 1st year students are taller than you|
|Like||I'm going to say this once and only once. Not everything needs to be dubstep.|
ONCE - AND ONLY ONCE - AND ONLY ONCE - AND ONLY ONCE - AND ONLY
NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT
"not everything needs to be"
WOB WOB WOB WOB WIWIWIWIWIWIWI WUUUB WUB WUB
|Like||Not studying for exams because your too busy chasing after the cows that broke out|
|Like||How to drink tea the HARD MANS way:|
2)Drink boiled water
3)Rip open teabag and eat tea
6)Jump around to mix
|Like||A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend. If she doesn't get jealous when someone has your attention, its because someone has hers.|
|Like||Best Childhood Memory:|
"Your moms here! Quick, hide so you won't have to go home!"
|Like||Boys are automatically more attractive when they smell nice :)|
|Like||new chat up line ... "want to go for a walk "|
Can I use your colours?
Yeah, But don't go hard on them.
Are you going hard on them?
|Like||Looking at your boyfriend and thinking "Where's my tea?"|
|Like||We all have that one friend that gets drunk and enjoys pissing everywhere...|
|Like||Drunk texts...... Cos the world needs to know your opinion at 4 in the morning!!!!|
|Like||being the one in your group of friends that gets slagged and abused on a regular bases.|
|Like||In the music video Paradise by Coldplay, If you look closely, you can notice that the elephants aren't real...|
|Like||i ate my twin in the womb|
|Like||Michael Jackson died at 58, Whitney Houston at 48, John F. Kennedy at 38, Amy Winehouse at 28.. |
How old is Justin Bieber again?
|Like||Oh a spider. You are tiny. I am a big person. I am a grown up. I can handle this. You are tiny. I am a big pe- OMG IT MOVED!!|
"Demba ba has been shot. we go live to the hospital where the bullet is said to be in critical condition"
I'm sitting in the dark with my pants around my ankles, jizz in my palm and sweat all over my chest...
Does it look like I'm here to play fucking poker?
|Like||September: 600 points easily, put the head down be grand.|
Christmas: ah in fairness 600 was very ambitious, 540 is probably more of my league.
After Mocks: shit. Slight overestimation. The mocks only test ya shur...450 be grand, don't want med anymore anyway.
April: Points have to go down this year for sure...300 be fine.
May: i'll literally be happy with 10.
|Like||She's so orange I don't know wheter to shift or peel her|
|Like||boy: what age are you?|
Girl: fifteen you? ;)
Girl: age is just a number.. :) ;)
boy: jail is just a room :)
|Like||Lads I know we're having fun and everything here , but seriously , who's making the tea?|
|Like||I love you with all my boobs.. I would say heart but my boobs are bigger|
|Like||taking your bike out on valentines night just so you can say ya got the ride ;)|
|Like||Screaming ' I'M A LESBIAN ' at people who ask for the shift at a disco.|
|Like||most girls have a nice, cute laugh and then there's me like AGAHAHAHAGGGSHAKS HAAA HA|
|Like||That feeling when you see someone you hate in school and wanting to hit them, in the face, WITH A CHAIR.|
|Like||RULE NO.2 of the sleepover club: always get your tits out for the lads|
|Like||turning all the boys down for valentines day because you dont want your cats to be lonely|